Wedding Bell Blues

I was sitting outside the Cafe yesterday with my friends Dave and Tom, when Dave asked me if I was going to attend the wedding of one of our friends, Jessica. When I gave him a quizzical look and asked if it was a "Facebook invitation," he took out the invitation in his backpack to demonstrate that guests were truly hand-picked. After he apologized for not intentionally trying to rub it in my face, I responded to the tune of " I better get an invitation, or I am going to be [expletive] pissed!"

At first I didn't let the situation but a damper on my day. For all I knew, I had not received an invitation because I had not seen Jessica or at least had an intelligent conversation with her in almost a week. I figured maybe once we exchanged pleasantries for an extended period of time, she would remember to hand me an invitation to her wedding. I also figured that maybe the only reason Dave received an invite is because his best friend, Laura, is also best friends with Jessica. Dave also told me that you weren't expected to bring a date to this occasion, so maybe her invitation process was very selective. I figured that several of my other roommates would not get invited because they never really hung out with Jessica or were part of her so-called "clique." However, I found out this assumption was incorrect because I saw another invitation to the wedding in my roommate Matt's folder when he opened it to retrieve notes for our psychology class.

I immediately became somewhat insulted again because I had known Jessica since freshman year and have held several interesting conversations with her throughout my college career. Heck, I was even a leader on one of the retreats she was on while here at the Joe. I felt like I would be the odd man out, sitting on my ass next Fourth of July weekend while most of my roommates were out reuniting and celebrating without me.

But then I quickly remembered what Dave's initial response to me was when I stated that I would be angry if I was not invited to the wedding: "Why?" When he asked that, I really didn't elaborate on why I would be angry, and, even now, I still can't. And that made me really think about the friendship that I had with Jessica. Even though I had talked to her throughout college, we weren't exactly "best friends" who hung out every weekend. Now that I think about it, I was her friend through someone else. I think I have only hung out in her room a few times, and sometimes I would only see her if she came to our apartment if we were hosting a social function. I hardly talk to her online and sometimes I don't see her at all during lecture. Even when I start conversation with her at the bar, I keep finding myself trying to catch up with her.

That being said, I certainly cannot be angry, bitter, or insulted for not being invited to her wedding. A person's wedding is a special time in his/her respective lifetime, and it should only be reserved for those people who really touched lives. When it is all said and done and I leave St. Joseph's College, there are going to be many weddings that I have not and will not be invited to, simply because people have their respective groups of friends whom they depend on for moral support through thick and thin. Although I try to help people as much as I can, I am still only an acquaintance for some people. For the 1500+ people I know on Facebook, I am probably only true friends with less than three percent of them. And those are the people who are my moral support and who will certainly be invited to my wedding.

So instead of complaining and feeling personally affronted, I should be happy for the great adventure which Jessica and her fiance are going to embark upon. I am sure I will keep them in my prayers and mind when they have their wedding. And, who knows, maybe I will get invited to the wedding; it is over 7 months away. But I will be happy for them, regardless of attendance.