Being a cross country runner is not exactly an easy thing. Granted, I know that I am not in a Division I program with coaching staffs that practically "own" you as a person, but still the sport is tough. And lately I feel like I have been in a funk. Hell, I've been in one since freakin' July, ever since I got jumped at a Live/Collective Soul concert by some bare-chested hillbillies. That episode resulted in an injured wrist that sidelined my lifting capabilities for a little bit. Fortunately, my legs were still feeling good and I put in a good amount of summer training. But ever since I have been back at school I feel I haven't pulled out a good workout (or race, for that matter) in a long time.
Is it fatigue from the rigorous training regimen that coach puts us through? The stress of classes? Lack of sleep? Typical "high school" SJC drama? I don't know, but something has got to give. It has too. I busted my ass this summer too much for me to just endure practices and not get anything out of them. This is my last year; I need to make it count. It's gonna hurt. Running always sucks, but afterwards, you feel fantastic. I just need to keep training hard and hoping that I can pull out a good race or workout these next few weeks. I want it. I need it. I know I have it inside of me, but it's an issue of mind over matter.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Growing some Cajones
Well, I figured if I wanted to have a flashy title for my first blog entry, I might as well throw in a catchy Spanish title. Sitting at this computer, two things are swirling through my cranium: thanksgiving and regret. I am thankful because I finally finished all the reading from Dispatches from Blogistan. I thought it would take me forever, but it only took about an hour. Kudos to catchy, topical, and not too small font.
On a more somber note, I am lingering in a sense of regret. Well, maybe just me wanting to kick myself--that type of feeling. Ever since last year, I've wanted to date this girl on campus, who shall be named Zora (just to protect the innocent, mind you!). I starting having feelings for Zora back in October of 2006. However, I was hanging out with this other girl from the University of St. Francis at the time as well. Against the advice of some of my closer friends, I chose to hang out with this St. Francis girl for a bit instead of trying to talk to Zora. Well, things kind of ended on a bad note with this other girl and by the time I wanted to ask Zora out on the a date she already had a boyfriend. Although she broke up with him in March, I decided to wait until this year to really try my luck again. Yet despite my intentions, I am back at where I started.
I don't really know what to do. Movie? Dinner? Casual conversation? Nintendo Wii? Just worrying about getting rejected sends chills through my spine, but those feelings are relinquished once I realize that, if I go out on a limb and it turns out to be pretty sturdy, the reward will be worthwhile. I guess I just have to be myself and see what happens; I know I have a shot. I'm pretty amicable (give or take a few rough edges), and care tremendously about all of my friends, she being one of them. I just gotta go with what Genie says to Aladdin ("Just Beeee yourself!") Let's face it, one is not a part of the "Man Club" unless they experience rejection. So I guess it's a win-win liberation--companionship vs. a renewable sense of confidence.
On a more somber note, I am lingering in a sense of regret. Well, maybe just me wanting to kick myself--that type of feeling. Ever since last year, I've wanted to date this girl on campus, who shall be named Zora (just to protect the innocent, mind you!). I starting having feelings for Zora back in October of 2006. However, I was hanging out with this other girl from the University of St. Francis at the time as well. Against the advice of some of my closer friends, I chose to hang out with this St. Francis girl for a bit instead of trying to talk to Zora. Well, things kind of ended on a bad note with this other girl and by the time I wanted to ask Zora out on the a date she already had a boyfriend. Although she broke up with him in March, I decided to wait until this year to really try my luck again. Yet despite my intentions, I am back at where I started.
I don't really know what to do. Movie? Dinner? Casual conversation? Nintendo Wii? Just worrying about getting rejected sends chills through my spine, but those feelings are relinquished once I realize that, if I go out on a limb and it turns out to be pretty sturdy, the reward will be worthwhile. I guess I just have to be myself and see what happens; I know I have a shot. I'm pretty amicable (give or take a few rough edges), and care tremendously about all of my friends, she being one of them. I just gotta go with what Genie says to Aladdin ("Just Beeee yourself!") Let's face it, one is not a part of the "Man Club" unless they experience rejection. So I guess it's a win-win liberation--companionship vs. a renewable sense of confidence.
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